A few years ago we were in the midst of a stressful time. We were looking for a therapeutic group home for our daughter. The place she was currently living was not working out. We knew she was not ready to come home.
During that time we closed on a new house, and we wanted to get our builder started on the remodel. We had not yet sold the house we were living in.
We spent our days hoping for showings on our house, making decisions about our new house, and searching for a place for our daughter.
Nothing seemed to be moving as fast as I would have liked
We were in a period of waiting
No matter how hard and fast I ran, or how may plans I made nothing moved forward.
I was in the same spot. It was very stressful.
I wanted much to get to the other side of waiting.
The other side (in my mind) looked like peace.
It looked like our house sold.
It looked like the remodeling finished, the move done and everything tidied and put away.
It looked like our child settled in a place that could meet her needs.
It looked like a bank account not drained by all this life transition.
Right now we are all in a huge period of waiting.
Waiting and wondering when life will get back to normal. I do not like waiting.
I often think if I can work hard enough I can get to the other side of waiting.
As a special needs mom I am always in some variation of waiting. I am always in a situation has some degree of difficulty.
That is where I live.
So I have to come to terms with this and not wish it away.
Here are some lessons I have learned about waiting to get to the other side of hard.
First of all, I am making a huge assumption on what it will be like when this waiting is over.
I cannot foretell the future. But it is human nature to assume the other side of waiting is going to better than where we are right now. (Honestly, it has to be better than quarantine!)
Also, when I gaze intently at the other side, I miss what is going on around me. I cannot see the everyday blessings in this waiting period.
I am too busy trying to wish it away.
I miss the lessons that waiting can teach me.
Last, but certainly not least, I leave God out of this whole equation.
I know He is working but I do not always act like I know it.
Here is what I am trying to remember:
I want to remember that God is with me in this waiting place.
I want to stop being so anxious to get to the other side.
I want to be aware f my right now life and notice what is before me today.
I want to live my life with joy.